State Fair of Texas 2023 SFOT RH

Just a bit peaved

by | Jun 20, 2022 | Latest, Opinion

By John Moore

I used to pay little attention to the world’s little idiosyncrasies, but now they seem ever present. And it’s more than slightly annoying.

I can’t be the only one.

When I was getting change back from the fast-food drive-thru recently, it all became clear. The world is against me.

The lady was nice enough, but she handed me back my bills, coins, and receipt in one big wad. Then she looked at me while I sorted it out. I put the money in my wallet, my wallet back in my coat, and the receipt in my shirt pocket. It was if I was expected to vacate the drive-thru with the same expediency that she had foisted my change and receipt at me.

This is nothing new. It’s been happening for years, but it was gradual. What happened to counting out your change?

“Thirty makes six, seven, eight, nine, and 10 is your change, sir. And thank you for dining at the Cardiac Cafe,” used to be the routine. Now, it’s, “Here. Thank you and move along, please.”

Granted, I’m on the OCD side, but what’s wrong with wanting to count your change (since they didn’t), place it neatly (all bills right side up in order of denomination) in your wallet, the coins in your pocket, and your receipt in your shirt pocket where you can find it later?

Or another drive-thru scenario is the “Sir, would you mind pulling your vehicle up about a quarter of a mile? We’ll bring you your order when it’s ready.”

But it isn’t just how your change comes at you. What about people who use the world as their cellphone audience?

“Yeah, I’m in the doctor’s office waiting my turn. Boy, this boil is certainly something. I’ve had them before, but this thing’s the size of a Buick. Not sure if he’s going to lance it or not.”

And the whole time, they’re on speakerphone. Chewing gum. And smacking.

That’s another one. Smackers. Smackers are the ones who eat for the world’s approval. It’s almost as if they’re saying, “I’m sure enjoying this chili cheese dog. I hope you’re enjoying my chili cheese dog too.”

Smack. Smack. Smack.

You feel like reaching over and, smack, smack, smack.

And then there are the textperts. Textperts are people who refuse to answer their phone. They will only text you.

(Ring, ring) “Hi, this is Bill, I can’t get to the phone right now, and I never check my voicemail. The best way to reach me is to text me.”

But before the message you’re trying to leave him even finishes, Bill sends you the auto-click text reply to your call, “Can I call you later?”

Bill will never call you later because Bill doesn’t call anyone. He just texts. And then he’s unhappy if you don’t text him right back.

Whenever Bill texts me, I usually wait a bit and text, “Sorry, Bill, I’m talking on the phone with someone else. I left you a voicemail.”

The other phone peeve is people who never look up from their phone when you’re trying to talk to them.

“Well, hey, Bill. Long time no see. How have you been?”

Bill is texting someone and mumbling, so I click on FaceTime and call Bill. When he answers, I say, “Sorry I missed you, Bill, did you get my voicemail?” And then hang up and walk away.

And then there are the people who feel completely at ease beginning a comment with, “Hey, no offense, but…”

If someone says, “Hey, no offense, but…” They’re going to offend you.

“Hey, no offense, John, but that tie is something else.” It’s no different than when a woman at church says, “Well, bless your heart.” Both indicate they think you’re stupid. Stupid enough that you don’t realize they’re calling you stupid.

And then there are the french fry thieves. French fries are not community property. Houses, boats, cars, and ROTH IRAs are community property.

Just because I have my fries spread out doesn’t mean I’m offering samples. Samples are what the little old ladies offer you at the booth in the grocery store when they’re trying to sell flavored beer or some new trail mix.

My french fries are mine. Besides, I had to deal with a lady who wads up my change and receipt to get these.

And then there are the whiners. Those who feel like everyone wants to hear about their problems. Especially their medical maladies.

“Yeah, my colonoscopy didn’t go as well as they’d hoped, so I’m getting another one tomorrow after he does something with this boil.”

I guess I’ve become my father. But that’s not such a bad thing.

Hey, I need to go. Some kids are on my lawn.

WEDC Gift Guide jpeg

0 Comments

Order photos

Related News

Pirates jump on N. Garland early

Pirates jump on N. Garland early

Wylie Pirates (3-1, 2-0 District 9-6A) return from the bye week to win their first road game of the season against the North Garland Raiders (1-4, 1-2). The final score was 35-25 at Williams Stadium in Garland. The Pirates finished with 355 total yards including 284...

read more
Raiders struggle against Sachse defense

Raiders struggle against Sachse defense

Sachse’s defense was suffocating all night in the Mustangs’ 20-7 district victory over the Wylie East Raiders on Friday night from Wylie ISD Stadium. The Mustangs (3-2, 3-0 District 9-6A) held the Raiders (3-1, 1-1) off the board until the third quarter. Sachse scored...

read more
Council honors longtime WEDC member

Council honors longtime WEDC member

Mayor Matthew Porter and Linda Ferguson honor Constitution Week at council on Tuesday, Sept. 12. Jeremy Hallock/Wylie News A decades-long Wylie resident who played a key role in the city’s expansion and growth was honored at the council meeting last week.  John...

read more
New ammo for fentanyl battle

New ammo for fentanyl battle

Authorities say counterfeit fentanyl is often disguised in an assortment of rainbow colors resembling candy. Courtesy DEA Fentanyl poisoning continues to claim a growing percentage of drug deaths in the state, according to the Texas Health Data dashboard published...

read more
Dry times ahead as drought worsens

Dry times ahead as drought worsens

Drought, generally defined as an absence of water caused by insufficient precipitation over a period of time, is as old as the Bible. “Thus I was; in the day the drought consumed me,” said Jacob as he described his hardships as a shepherd (King James Version, Genesis...

read more
Take the fall

Take the fall

One of my most vivid memories of fall happened during junior high. I was standing in the end zone prior to the start of a game. I could barely feel my fingers and toes. It was October, but it was unusually cold (Al Gore had yet to invent global warming). My shoulder...

read more
Wylie East dismantles Naaman Forest

Wylie East dismantles Naaman Forest

Howard Fisher IV dives for a touchdown during the Raiders win over the Naaman Forest Rangers on Thursday, Sept. 14. GARLAND – Wylie East opened District 9-6A about as well as a team could hope to, convincingly beating Naaman Forest 58-14 on Thursday, Sept. 14 at...

read more
Council honors a local legend

Council honors a local legend

Council honors John Yeager on Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2023. The public access easement within the FM 544 Gateway Addition is designated as John Yeager Way. Jeremy Hallock/The Wylie News John Yeager, a Wylie resident for more than half a century, was honored at the Sept. 12...

read more
NTMWD 2023