Rotary Golf 2024

Six factors that make for extraordinary friendships


by | May 20, 2015 | Life & Style

Research reveals great friends lead to good health,
but that’s just a byproduct

Numerous scientific studies show that developing friendships is an essential ingredient to a healthy life.

But few people are intentionally trying to avoid heart disease or improve their blood pressure when they seek out, or stumble into, new friendships. Instead, they just want someone to hang out with, confide in or trust in times of trouble, says Darlene Quinn, an author whose latest novel, “Conflicting Webs” (www.darlenequinn.net), uses friendship as an underlying theme.

“Friends can start out from a variety of places, but still share the same incredible bond,” Quinn says “Sometimes that bond can span a lifetime. Other times, the bond is just for a short period. Either way, friendships are a vital part of life.”

As she researched her novel, Quinn became fascinated by the motivations behind friendships. Not all friendships are equal and, over the long haul, not all turn out the way people might like.

“Having a mutually beneficial relationship is crucial,” Quinn says. “If only one person is willing to put in time and effort, that friendship won’t work.

“We tend to intuitively know who real friends are and which friendships are worth our time and energy.”

Quinn said she found at least six factors that can lead to great friendships – three that bring people together and three that keep them together:

  • Similarity. The phrase “birds of a feather flock together” has been around at least since the 16th century, and it’s no wonder it became such a well-worn cliché, Quinn says. It happens to be true. “We surround ourselves with people whose style, attitudes, personalities, likes, dislikes and mannerisms are similar to ours,” she says. “Those similarities help to build an instant bond. We feel comfortable around those people and easily slide into conversations about topics that interest both of us or schedule activities we both enjoy.”
  • Intrigue. Sometimes people are so fascinating that we can’t help but be drawn to them, Quinn says. “We can build a great bond of friendship with someone when we are genuinely curious about their stories, their lifestyle or their backgrounds,” she says.
  • History. Growing up together, or going through the same or similar experiences, can lead to a lasting connection between two people. “Other people may not be able to have a good understanding of, or empathy for, a situation you went through,” Quinn says. “But this person understands you because they went through it, too. Sharing a past with someone definitely can create a special bond.”
  • Positive influence. A great friend will be someone who is a good influence and will support you and your goals, Quinn says. “They should inspire you to live up to your highest potential so you can be your best self.” The world has enough negativity, she says. You don’t need that in a friend.
  • Your happiness. True friends want to see you happy. “The best kinds of friends are the ones who have your best interests at heart, even to a fault,” Quinn says. “They may tell you something you don’t want to hear at the risk of fracturing the friendship, just because they know it is in your best interest. At the same time, a true friend will never ask you to compromise or jeopardize any part of yourself in order to be their friend.”
  • Loyalty. A loyal friend will have your back no matter what, Quinn says. “They will stand up for you and with you when the need arises,” she says. “They won’t speak ill of you to others and they don’t let others speak bad about you either.” Loyalty is not an easy trait to find, but it’s essential to any really good relationship, Quinn says.

“As years go by, I think most of us start to realize that it is no longer the quantity of friends that matter, but the quality,” Quinn says. “You just build a great bond with some people and you can call on each other in times of trouble. Good friends are hard to find, but impossible to forget.”

Darlene Quinn (www.darlenequinn.net) is an author and journalist from Long Beach, Calif., whose novels about deceit, intrigue and glamour in the retail fashion industry were inspired by her years working in management with Bullocks Wilshire Specialty department stores. Her latest is “Conflicting Webs,” the fifth book in her epic Web series. Previous titles in the series have been “Webs of Fate,” “Webs of Power,” “Twisted Webs” and “Unpredictable Webs.”

 

Subscribe RH Love

0 Comments

Order photos

Related News

Looking for luxury: Top features homebuyers seek

Looking for luxury: Top features homebuyers seek

The real estate market has been something of a roller coaster ride over the past few years. Historically low interest rates coupled with a surging interest to move to communities with more outdoor space during the height of the pandemic led to a lot of movement and...

read more
Plan the perfect honeymoon

Plan the perfect honeymoon

After a whirlwind of wedding festivities, it’s no wonder why so many couples look forward to their honeymoons and the opportunity to escape, unwind and celebrate the beginning of their life together. But with so many destinations, activities and logistics to consider,...

read more
Wylie Historical Society hosts vintage fashion show

Wylie Historical Society hosts vintage fashion show

It was a fashionable affair for those in attendance at the Wylie Historical Society’s first Vintage Fashion Show fundraiser. The event was held Saturday, Jan. 27, at St. Anthony Catholic Church and included a catered box lunch. Attendees from as far away as Wichita...

read more
Wine and dessert pairings

Wine and dessert pairings

Choosing the right wine to accompany desserts or other foods, the secret is to think of wine as an ingredient that will add a new flavor profile. According to wine experts, the secret is to think of wine as an ingredient that will add a new flavor profile. When it...

read more
Get motivated, back on exercise track

Get motivated, back on exercise track

Social activity helps seniors when it comes to exercise Overcoming the lack of motivation to exercise is a common challenge, affecting people of all ages, including seniors. Recent studies are a testament to that difficulty. In a 2021 survey from the global fitness...

read more
Best of 2024 balloting underway

Best of 2024 balloting underway

Shop local. Eat local. Drink local. Now cast your ballot and vote local. Voting for the annual Best of Wylie 2024 contest is now open and will continue until Feb. 2. Whether you’ve lived in the area for one year or 10 years, we know you’ve cultivated a list of...

read more
Smart travel for seniors

Smart travel for seniors

Having made it to their golden years, many seniors have the extra time to devote to recreational pursuits, but it often comes with a limited budget. Instead, seniors can arm themselves with their earned wisdom and discover the multiple travel perks that come with...

read more
Is soup the ultimate cold medicine?

Is soup the ultimate cold medicine?

Having a cold is not fun. A stuffy nose, sniffles, sore throat, and other symptoms make having a cold a generally unpleasant experience. According to data collected by the Consumer Healthcare Products Association, the average con-sumer shops for over-the counter...

read more
Shopping tips for last-minutes gift givers

Shopping tips for last-minutes gift givers

Though devotees of early holiday shopping do not hesitate to point out how convenient it can be to get all their gifts long before the arrival of Chanukah and Christmas, scores of shoppers still wait until the last minute to begin checking names off their lists. It...

read more
Order photos