Farmersville Lights 300 x 250

Laundry: There’s more than one way to fold

by | May 22, 2024 | Opinion

You would think that there’s only one way to fold towels.

But, you’d be wrong.

Growing up in Ashdown, Arkansas, my momma showed me how to fold them, as well as shirts, socks, underpants, and other personal sundries.

I assumed that this skillset would carry me all the way though until people were standing over me singing hymns.

But, I’ve been wrong. More than once.

Within minutes of returning from my first honeymoon, I loaded the washing machine and ran a load. The laundry then made its way to the dryer.

Shortly after pulling the dry clothes out and throwing them on the bed, I began folding a towel from the Hyatt Regency.

My then-wife claimed that the towel and several ashtrays were complimentary.

Her: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “Uh, folding a towel.”

Her: “That’s not how you fold a towel.”

Me: “Well, that’s how my momma folds a towel.”

Her: “I ain’t your momma. And you have to fold the towels so that they stack right in the cabinet.”

Turns out, she acted a whole lot like my momma, which is one of the reasons she’s my first wife.

She showed me how she wanted me to fold towels – “From now on, so they’ll fit in the cabinet” – and told me in no uncertain terms that it was the right way to do it.

Well, men (at least the smarter ones) learn to pick their battles, and towels ain’t a battle worth fighting. You save battles for important things, like whether it’s OK to watch an Ancient Aliens marathon in the middle of a Saturday, or what color tractor you want (red).

So, I relearned to fold towels.

This same scenario replayed itself many times as I was caught incorrectly folding socks, underwear, and washrags.

I patiently relearned all of the correct methods for each 

Shortly after returning from the second honeymoon, I was washing and drying the laundry.

As I was folding the Hyatt Regency towel (I negotiated it in the divorce), I heard:

Her: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “Uh, I’m folding a towel.”

Her: “That’s not how you fold a towel. They won’t fit in the cabinet that way.”

By this point, I was smart enough not to mention my first wife or my momma, so I just said, “You’re absolutely right. This has confused me my entire life. Would you please show me the correct way to fold towels, socks, underwear, and washrags?” 

I just figured that I could shorten this whole process and get back to the tractor dealership much faster that way.

She did, and I’ve folded towels, socks, underwear, washrags, and anything else that needs folding her way ever since.

But that may change.

As I was sitting in my La-Z-Boy watching an Ancient Aliens marathon in the middle of a Saturday and staring out the window at my red tractor, my wife (the current one) announced she was heading down the hall to rearrange the bathroom cabinets.

I smiled, but swallowed hard. I knew what this meant. I’m going to have to relearn how to fold the towels and washrags.

I’m good with that. Maybe afterward we can go on a second honeymoon and stay at a nice hotel.

That’ll give me a chance to replace that worn out Hyatt Regency towel.

But I’m keeping the ashtrays. I think I need a cigarette.

Enjoying this column? Want to read more like this? Subscribe to your local newspaper The Wylie News today!

By John Moore | thecountrywriter.com. 

Best of 2025 Leaderboard

0 Comments

Subscribe RH Love

Related News

Someone’s watching

Someone’s watching

While some in society have stopped wearing watches, columnist John Moore isn’t one of them. Courtesy John Moore I noticed his Watch immediately. I usually notice watches immediately. But his was especially noticeable. It was a Rolex. I don’t own a Rolex, but one day I...

read more
The perplexity of dreams

The perplexity of dreams

I’m fairly certain my dreams have a drug dealer. What is it with dreams? Sleep is supposed to be an 8-hour window (mine’s never that long) when we rest, regenerate, and arise feeling as refreshed as the person in the Folger’s commercial who throws back the covers and...

read more
Vehicle inspections no longer required 

Vehicle inspections no longer required 

Drivers will no longer be required to get annual safety inspections beginning Jan. 1, the Texas Standard reported. However, drivers in the state’s 17 most populous counties will still be required to get an emissions test in order to register their vehicles. While...

read more
Hope for the holidays

Hope for the holidays

I especially love this time of the year! The Christmas season brings back so many fond memories from my childhood. Growing up in the humble neighborhoods of Brooklyn didn’t allow us to have much other than the music of Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis. I was too young...

read more
What was in store

What was in store

Columnist John Moore likes the local hardware stores. And the free calendars. Photo: John Moore When Wal Mart grew, warnings that it would put the mom-and-pop businesses under seemed to come true. Now, online businesses seem to bring the same threat to Wal Mart. But...

read more
A lot of class

A lot of class

Columnist John Moore’s graduating high school class recently gathered for their 44th reunion. Photo Olyvia Howard Bennett In the movie “The Big Chill,” a group of old friends gather for the funeral of one of their own, and it turns into a reunion. Recently, a group of...

read more
Picturing Grace

Picturing Grace

Columnist John Moore grew up seeing a special painting on his grandmother’s wall. At least, he thought it was a painting. When I was a child, there was a painting that hung on my grandmother’s kitchen wall. It portrayed a man who was praying over a meal of bread and...

read more
Surviving the holidays

Surviving the holidays

The holidays are more than football (here’s hoping watching the Cowboys is the most painful thing you’ll do this time of year) and food. It can be a season of joy, but for many of us, they can be full of difficult interactions. Whether you’re navigating grief or...

read more
Leftover Leftovers

Leftover Leftovers

Columnist John Moore believes some things are better left off holiday menus. Photo credit: John Moore “It’s a leftover. What a sad word that is. Leftover. How would you like to be… a leftover? Well, it wouldn’t be bad if they were taking people out to be shot. I might...

read more
Order photos